I have been meaning to do this for so very long, but haven't found the time, courage, energy that it takes to explain the best, scariest day of my life. But here it goes...
Let me start of by saying Tyce has been the greatest gift to TJ and I we love him with all our hearts and we loved him before he was born. I remember being 8 months pregnant and walking into his room and reading the plaque that we put above his beautiful chocolate colored crib that said "I AM A CHILD OF GOD''. I remember thinking to myself, I know he is going to be perfect our tests all came back perfect he has no abnormalities. But even if he did, even if he was wheel chair bound (nothing wrong with that) or had anything ''wrong'' with him I don't care as long as he has a relationship with God and he knows that Jesus died for him. And if he ever needs anything God will ALWAYS be there for him and so will his momma! I cried those tears a month before I knew, what would happen the day after his birth. (And not once had it crossed my mind that things would turn out any different then I had imagined).
Fast forward, and two weeks before my due date which was to be June 5th my doctor was telling us that Tyce was getting to be too big for my little body and if he didn't come soon, I would be induced. Tyce was going to be an eight or more pound baby and I was 110 pounds when I got pregnant. So I got to walking everyday, I even walked the Laketown stairs the day before I got induced just so I wouldn't have to get induced ( I was scared), and boy we kicked those stair's ass Ty and I :). Still nothing, and my doctor told me I needed to come in that next morning because it was time for him to come out. In reality, I was so ok with it, I was ready to be done being pregnant and I wanted to see what this little peanut looked like!
TJ and I could hardly get any sleep the night before, our long awaited journey to see our precious little boy was almost here! We got up bright and early that morning and took off for the hospital where my induction began. Dr. Gootjes broke my water at 9:00am and by 1:00 pm my contractions started really hard, I pleaded for that epidural, and of course it was a holiday so the anesthesiologist was out of town and it took longer then expected to get my much needed epidural. Finally it kicked it and I was quickly dilating. At 4:00 pm I was told I was dilated to 10 and ready to push, and with three hard pushes Tyce Coronado came out at 4:41 pm. TJ wouldn't leave my side he wanted to make sure I was ok, and I told him to go make sure everything was ok with the baby he didn't know what to do (just like him to not want to leave my side and make sure I was ok). Everything seemed perfect, he weighed 7 pounds 11 ounces and measured 20.5 inches and somehow I knew something was different. I had seen a few of my sisters have babies and I just knew something was different, but I didn't know what it was. His eyes were definitely slanted but, so are his dad's but Ty's were even more then I had pictured. But, I didn't think too much about it, I held him, I loved him so much. The three of us enjoyed the few moments after Tyce was born together. Then those who waited for his birth in the lobby came in and just swept him with love!
The first time I held him |
Morning came, as we began to get ready for the rest of our visitors the hospital pediatrician came in for her routine check before babies get to go home. She came in, did not introduce her self and began inspecting our little baby. She stopped for a second looked at me, looked at TJ and just said the words, the heaviest words I had ever heard... "I am testing him for Down Syndrome, he has some features that make me believe he might have it, but... I don't think so, I will let you know in a couple days when the test results come back". WHAT!!! TJ and I both looked at each other like are you crazy??? I think we said Lady, come back here! what is this that you are saying to us? and how do you just plant that on brand new parents, like your telling us he has a cold. To her it may have been like telling us he had a cold, one that would never go away and we would just have to deal with it (at least that is what it felt like). I didn't know what to do, what to say, I think TJ and I sat together with Tyce in silence for the next few minutes. I convinced myself that this couldn't be. But, in my stomach I had that gut feeling that it was something. I kept asking the nurses to hurry with the preliminary results, they said they were sent to DeVos and we would soon know. Our final day at the hospital came and that morning the results came in. TJ had run home to shower and I was in that room, in those walls that I so vividly remember. I was with Tyce and my mother in law, my sweet mother in law never left our side. The same doctor that had initially checked him came in with the results. The preliminary results showed a third 21st chromosome, Down syndrome. My heart sank, I felt like I couldn't breath. I was asked if I had questions, and I told her I had a million freaking questions. I was mad, I was angry, I was scared, I was sad, I felt robbed and maybe selfish. I knew nothing about DS other then a bunch of society's misconceptions. I immediately called TJ like 200 times and of course he was in the shower, finally getting a hold of him, I told him he needed to come to the hospital, upon arriving he saw my face, he knew. I called my mom and she called my sisters and they all came in, our troops, our army was there ready to combat for all of us, for Tyce! I could just feel in my soul how much my family meant to me, how much I pleaded with them to not leave us alone, I don't know why I would say that, I just looked at there faces and I knew, I knew that each one of those people in that room would NEVER leave us alone, that we would always have them.
This was a picture of me, leaving the hospital with troops behind and the husband swinging the car around.They told us we could take him home on that third day there, they handed us a Down syndrome resource book and sent us on our way. Shortly after we left and the leave was nothing like I had imagined, I was blank, I was numb, I felt like everything was going to have to be different forever, I was so lost.
We came home, we bonded with him, we loved him, that was easy. We had many doctor appointments that were hard, we were constantly reminded that our first journey into parenthood was different.
The next few weeks were a blur... we anticipated the final results of his diagnoses, by then we kind of knew and we were soaking it all in. It was the weirdest experience ever, something hard to explain, I wish some things would have turned out differently, perhaps the way we found out. But then again we wouldn't be where we are today, and we wouldn't be as strong as we are. We are fully enTYCED, our little man has BLOWN us away. We have a completely different image of what Down syndrome is. Society has a misconception, because if you met my little guy you too would be blown away! He luckily has a healthy heart, and every other major organ seems to be working great (babies with DS tend to need heart surgeries and may have other complications, but nothing that can't typically get fixed, and hey all babies can have these problems too). He is sooo much more like us, and all of my nieces and nephews then he is different. Of course there has been struggles. He has needed to get EVERYTHING checked, Eyes, Ears, Nose, Throat, Heart, Lungs, Kidney's, Blood and most everything is checking out. He is a fighter just like his tias :) we love you Tyce and this is your story. Your mom has come sooooo much further from that day she took you home from the hospital. That day she was scared, scared for your future scared for tomorrow, today she is not scared any more, she can't wait to watch you continuously grow. Your mom and dad love you more than anything, we love all 47 of your chromosomes little man! You were always this Tyce and would love this Tyce!
Absolutely beautiful! I am so glad you decided to start a blog. Starting one for Kaitlyn was the most therapeutic thing I've done since we began our journey (other than finding Erin, Jen, Angie, and now you :)) I can not wait to meet you and Tyce!!! Your post was so beautifully written, great job!!!
ReplyDeleteWow you words are Amazing, I am so glad you have decided to do a blog.Looking forward to your entries, and additional pictures of the beautiful gift God "Tyce". You are a beautiful familly.
ReplyDeleteDina, I love your blog! It is great to see pictures of Tyce from little baby to big moving happy baby, crazy how much he has grown!! Love, Drew and Lorin
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful baby! He's just gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteYou've done a wonderful job with your new blog--I am looking forward to getting to know you and your family more through your writing.
Your son is beautiful! And that was a beautiful story! I have a little son too that has something extra as well! Looking forward to following along your journey.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautifully-written birth story. I can't wait to hear more about your little man. Mine is about 2.5 years older (Micah will be 3 in January).
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the blogosphere!
Tyce is beautiful!!!! Learned of your blog on Facebook!!! I have an 18 year old with Down Syndrome. I can't imagine life without him and all of the wonderful people my son has led me to!
ReplyDeletethewonderfulworldofdownsyndrome.blogspot.com
Tyce is such a cutie!! Congrats! I have an 8 month old daughter with DS and I look forward to hearing more about Tyce as he grows up.
ReplyDeleteTyce is so handsome!! I look forward to watching him grow and learning more about your family.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter, Lily, is 2 1/2 years old and has Ds. She's such a joy and amazes us every single day. Life is so much better with her in it.
God bless!